00:00:04

Natalie: Hey, everyone. Welcome to the next episode on the Mental Health podcast. I’m super excited about this guest. I’m going to say this about every guest, but seriously, deeply honored to have this next guest. I want to tell you a little bit before Trace introduces herself. So Tracey Lock from Your A Team. I first met Tracey. I love this story so much. She was a student when I was a tutor, when I was teaching the hospitality management diploma. She was one of my first classes I ever had. And I remember her being at the front of the class being my star student, the most diligent, most polite person ever. And then our paths crossed again when her amazing mum came and did some business coaching with me and I was like, oh, I know your daughter. And then it’s no surprise to me that Trace has gone out to run her own businesses and I was lucky enough that she came to hang out with me and I’ve been her coach for many years now. And it is no surprise to anyone that she has won awards and she has created a very profitable business, has had huge ups and downs and roller coasters, but has much success behind her and coming that I just can’t wait to celebrate her. But also, I know that she doesn’t know this, but we have some parallels where outwardly we might look like confident people, but behind those scenes we sure as are dealing with some big things. Self esteem, anxiety and all those things. So I can’t wait for you to hear Tracey’s story today. So welcome to the podcast, Trace.

00:01:50

Tracey: Thanks for having me.

00:01:51

Natalie: You’re welcome. I love our history. I think it’s so much fun.

00:01:55

Tracey: It’s a cool story.

00:01:57

Natalie: Why did you say yes to coming on the podcast?

00:02:03

Tracey: Firstly, to challenge myself to say yes to everything, but mostly because it’s such a powerful topic, mental health and business. It’s really powerful. And more people I think, need to know that it’s okay to do things that are a little bit scary, even if they’ve got anxiety, for example, because it will be okay.

00:02:25

Natalie: I love that about you. I love how you’re like, I have these things, but you’re showing up and doing it anyway. So kind of like it’s not saying that people can’t have an excuse, but I think there’s so many of us who are doing it with anxiety, with negative self talk, with low self esteem that I’d love for you to share a little bit about your story around how anxiety showed up for you in your business and kind of what you do. Well, not what you do about it, but yeah, Just shed some light on that for us.

00:02:54

Tracey: I think for me, anxiety shows up almost every day in what I do, particularly when I have to put myself in front of people. Networking, like in person networking is terrifying. And making bold decisions that I know could change the trajectory of where I’m going. That’s when it shows up the most in terms of how I handle it. I think that comes down to years of therapy and working with, you know, techniques. For me, mostly it’s exercise. If I can do that, I’m usually okay. Yeah, as long as. But also having that really incredible support network. Like, I’m very, very lucky to have amazing mentors like yourself and a few other people that I lean on. And I think if I didn’t have that, it would be a lot harder or a lot easier to spiral. But I’ve also got really good self awareness. I know when I’ve hit my. I know when I’ve hit my limit. I also know that I can’t do four or five days of in person networking and then be able to function on day five. So I can plan that. But that again, has come from a number of years of practicing.

00:04:07

Natalie: You know how, like, because you’re naturally. You are an introvert. How do you define that difference for yourself between, oh, it’s me being introverted or it’s my anxiety? Like, how do you differentiate?

00:04:18

Tracey: For me, it’s a physical body response. I know the difference. You know, introverts, just me going, oh, there’s a lot of people in this room right now. I’d much, I feel much safer at home, you know, in the office, versus that physical body response of, okay, my heart’s racing right now, my hands are sweaty. I am having a physical body response to, to this scenario and this isn’t a safe scenario. How can I make that safe? So those are my, those are my cues.

00:04:48

Natalie: You’re quite a high achiever, quite a, quite a driver. And you have had, I’m just going to call them burnout moments, but I would, I would love if you be open to share those moments and kind of what you’ve called them and just share a little bit about it. Because what I’ve found with sharing this mental health podcast, just from the first one, is other people going, oh, my God. Yet she just kind of explained where I’ve been as well. And I just. So I know the specifics around your story are really going to help other people feel less alone. So share with us the uglies.

00:05:24

Tracey: Yeah, yeah, I. Last year was basically told by a Specialist to. To stop. Was asked to. To stop work, which of course I didn’t do. But I did have to take some big. I did have to do some big decisions to. To kind of slow down and stop. Not stop, but relax, take a step back. Because I was in burnout. I. I couldn’t function. And it was affecting every aspect of my life. I was getting sick all the time. I was making decisions that are not normal to. To make. You know, I remember sending you voice notes and like, I’d send them a week later. Be like, oh, never mind that. Don’t worry. I just wasn’t thinking straight. And you’d be like, yeah, I wondered. Um, and it was just. I wasn’t functioning as myself. I was functioning at an eighth of my potential. But I couldn’t recognize that I was so deep in. I have to be. You know, like, I become obsessed with making this business successful without actually looking back and going, it already is. And that came from a place of burnout. But I was so deep in it that I couldn’t see that. And it took me to break. I had so much going on in my life. Like, I was going through fertility treatment. I was. There were so many things that were going on in my life that work was my, you know, work was my safe space. And so I would throw myself in every aspect into that and broke myself in the process. So with it, and whether that was. Whether that was driven by an anxiety response to.

00:07:08

Natalie: To.

00:07:09

Tracey: I have to be in control of something. I can’t control anything else going on in my life, but I can control this or whether or not, which is highly likely. But yeah, I was. I was completely bottomed out. I had nothing in the tank and I just kept driving forward and it’s. It’s a really unsafe place to be. And I nearly broke my business multiple times.

00:07:32

Natalie: What about. Let’s get you really a good. A good word. Unsafe. So quite interested to know for you, like, what felt unsafe about it.

00:07:44

Tracey: I had no. I had no control over me. It was. I was task driven. I was. These are the things that have to happen. I have to do all of this. But the reality was none of that had to happen. But that was my way of controlling a situation that I couldn’t control. In hindsight, if I had just taken a step back, taken a few days off, figured out that I was in burnout before I got there would have been really great. But, you know, we live and learn these lessons.

00:08:15

Natalie: We have to have.

00:08:15

Tracey: Yeah, yeah, 100%. But I think, yeah, it it was unsafe because I, I wasn’t in control as much as I thought I was. I wasn’t in control. So self care was out the window. My relationship with my husband and my child was strained because of the decisions and actions that I was doing to try and control the situation that I couldn’t control. I needed to cut, and I did eventually cut my hours. I needed to slow down, I needed to reprioritize. Going to the gym and doing the things that actually made me feel human. Otherwise, I was go. I was, Yeah, I, it’s actually a scary thought where I would have ended up if I had enough stopped when I did.

00:08:57

Natalie: Would you be open to, to talking about the night, you know, where you, where you were? Kind of got given quite a strong message to if you don’t stop, some shit’s gonna get real.

00:09:09

Tracey: Yeah, I, I, yeah, it was, it was a, a really scary moment for me being told, you know, a lot of, a lot of that came down to the fact my husband and I were trying to have another baby. And that takes a mental toll on you, whether you have a business or you don’t. It’s a mental toll. And I remember talking to my specialist and kind of telling her what I was doing and how I was looking after myself. I was so proud. Like, I’m a successful business owner. I’m doing all of these things. And she was like, no, you, you cannot. I am not permitting you to do another round of fertility treatment. I’m not permitting you to go to the gym. You are going. I’m basically putting you on bed rest. You are broken. Here are your test results. And my test results were through the roof. And my, like, the hormone tests at that blood test that they do for fertility treatment say, this is not, you’re not healthy. You are going to lose your business. You are going to lose your relationship if you don’t stop. This is not a safe place for you. So she referred me through to some therapy. I spoke with an amazing clinical psychologist who helped me realize that I was a little bit broken, but I wasn’t so far broken that I couldn’t fix anything. And, you know, that decision of I’m, I’m gonna have another baby this year was essentially taken off me. And so I was then Roan, and I threw myself back into the business and then just repeated the cycle. And I remember, I remember messaging you and telling you about it, and you were like, stop. Just, just stop. You’ve got. And I remember sitting in your office when you had, when the other Office with the red. The red doors.

00:11:05

Natalie: The red door, yeah.

00:11:07

Tracey: And you said to me, you’re breaking your business. And you. And I just remember sitting in your office and going, well, what was the point? Like, what’s the point in having a business if I can’t control the scenario? And I. And the following week I had my psychologist appointment and I said the same thing to her. I said, I’ve been told I can’t play my business. I can’t do another round of fertility treatment. I’m not allowed to go to the gym. Like, what can I do that I can control? And she was like, you need to learn to not control. You are human. You need to prioritize your health and you need to prioritize your energy levels. And you can go to the gym. You just can’t do the intense PT sessions that you were doing. Talk to your pt, tell them what’s going on so that they can, you know, support you through this. And so once I acknowledge that I needed to take a minute and just change some things, everything got better. And it got better quickly. Like changing my workouts to slow, like intentional workouts, instead of just trying to like completely exhaust myself. Slow, intentional workouts, fixing my hours to kind of four hours a day, four days a week, intentional time with my son without, you know, distracted, distracted by the work, phone calls, that kind of stuff. Things got better and they got better so fast. But I had to do that work.

00:12:35

Natalie: Actually, when you were telling us, I remember when we were walking back because we would have gone and got coffee or I would have gone and got coffee, we were walking back for our session or something. And I remember you had snuck in, working at night again. And you men, it was like you’d rehearsed in the car to justify it to me. I remember just thinking myself, man, she’s really convinced herself because she’s enjoying it again that working at night is completely fine and everything’s okay about it. And I was just like, wow, where the have we got to right now?

00:13:07

Tracey: Yeah.

00:13:08

Natalie: And I nearly, I nearly fell for it. I nearly fell for your stuff. But I just, I love your. I love, I’ve always loved your self awareness. And I think that is the downside to high achieving woman. One being myself and one being actually all of my amazing clients. Because alongside that high achieving isn’t it, it’s that perfectionism or being a perfectionist and doing it right the whole time. And that’s where it’s the control, the controls. The issue where we’re over controlling what Can I control? Oh, well, I can’t control myself, so I’ll control my business or I’ll control other people. And it can feel out of control, ironically, most of the time. Hey. Which is so ironic when we’re like, I’m controlling this, but I feel so out of control. In hindsight. No, not hindsight, but if you, do you think that you’ve always, like, could you track back to a teenager where some of these habits came from? Like where it’s got to today?

00:14:12

Tracey: Yeah. 100. 100. And I, I had never. This is the first time in my adult life that I have actually put myself out of my comfort zone to actually learn how to deal with them because they are repeating patterns. You know, high stress jobs. I always throw myself into the highest stress job possible and take on more than I should. And I’ve always been like that. But I’ve also, also been quite a competitive person in terms of my husband and I, for example, whether it’s probably not very healthy, but my husband and I always, we like to compete. Who, who can earn the most money or who can have the, the highest ranking job kind of thing. You know, always very competitive. I like to be hitting in that in the same direction. And I. So all my working life I’ll always be chasing that stress. But this is the first time that I’m actually like, it’s not stress. It doesn’t mean success. Not. Not even a little bit.

00:15:16

Natalie: Yeah, you’re so right. I think that whole, like, even though it’s a cliche and a bum sticker, but it’s actually annoyingly true is like your health is your wealth. So as much as we’re all into building wealth, so then we can then help other people when we’ve paid ourselves first and all those things actually without your health, we actually don’t have. There’s nothing left. There’s nothing else. So that’s really important. Can you cast your mind back to what I want to bring up is just now your passion around wanting to help other people who, I suppose around that confidence piece and that anxiety piece. Like, what is it about that that that kind of, you know, gets you excited?

00:16:04

Tracey: I think for so long I said no to doing things because of my anxiety and now it’s a strength. And I want, I just wish that there were more people that could use their anxiety as a strength, not in an unhealthy way, because it definitely could be used in an unhealthy way. But I think, you know, just because you take for example, when I’VE done some public speaking. I’m having a physical body response, but people don’t know that. And that physical body response that I’m having is actually creating my, my speech. It’s making it more authentic and it’s showing who I am as a person. And I, and I, I wouldn’t be able to do that in the same way if I wasn’t having that physical body response. Obviously I love that. And I think like when I say that out loud, that makes it sound unsafe, but it’s, I would never put myself in a situation where I am unsafe. And I think, you know, by saying no to things and, and not doing these public speaking, because I really enjoy that and I love the comments that I get afterwards and the connections that I make by doing that. But if I, if I played into my anxiety and said, no, I’ve got anxiety, I can’t do that, I’m doing myself a disservice. And I think so many people like the amount of business owners or women who are working, you know, high stress jobs trying to juggle young family at home. And I’ve got this really amazing business idea, but I don’t know how because, you know, I’m on anxiety medication or I’m really concerned about how I can do this because I could never put myself in that situation. My anxiety would get in the way. Actually helping them see that, that can help them be more authentic. And that’s going to talk to their ideal client and they can use it as a superpower. Like, I just wish more people understood that. And if I can help people do that, then I’m doing something or I’m doing something meaningful and that, that brings me joy.

00:18:14

Natalie: I really like what, how you’ve turned that whole anxiety, physical feelings, how you’ve turned it around because that happens for me when I speak. As I get so like, oh my God, I can’t do this, I run out of breath. Like, I really have to just like calm the farm. But you’re so right. That authentic pace of what it brings through. I think it’s just a gift, that controlling perfectionist, that if we let that anxiety take over, we don’t actually see our full size and what we’re, what we’re fully, fully capable of because we’re afraid of that feeling. So I love, I love your spin on that. I think it’s really, really cool.

00:18:56

Tracey: And I think something my psychologist said to me is that the feel, the feeling of nerves and that feeling of excitement, it’s the same feeling. It’s the same hormonal response, it’s the same feeling. And so I’ve never ever fact checked that because I’m terrified that when I fact check it, it’s not going to be true. But I hold on to that because that’s so powerful for me because I can reframe it. I can go, oh, I’m feeling nervous. Cool. That means I’m really excited about this and I can reframe that into a more positive light rather than going, oh, I’m so nervous, I’m so scared. Like, please no one ever tell me that that’s not true because that will ruin everything for me. But it is. I’ve held onto that and it’s helped me in so many scenarios.

00:19:41

Natalie: I’ve heard that before and that’s been super helpful for me is like, you know, I think like joy and fear is the same feeling, you know, And I remember thinking, what the hell? It actually when I was feeling excited, going, oh yeah, I can see how this is, you know. And you know, other public speakers might go, oh, well, I don’t, I don’t get scared anymore. But they still have an element of nerves. Like I’ve just learned to control mine and I just know that it’s normal. And I think by us having these conversations, we can say to everyone, oh no, you’re meant to feel like that. Like, actually if you weren’t feeling like that, there’s an issue. I would love to talk about your own, like health journey and perhaps self esteem, perhaps some of the decisions you’ve had to make recently around your life and your health. I think it would be really cool to talk about, talk about that too.

00:20:36

Tracey: Yeah. Where to start? Yeah, so.

00:20:41

Natalie: So I think, I think it all laces in though, right? I think it all. Yeah, I think that’s gonna be good.

00:20:47

Tracey: Yeah. So I guess I’ve, I’ve had fertility struggles for my entire adult life. I’ve got diagnosed polycystic ovaries, which comes with its own layers of stress and weight gain and all of that kind of stuff. And for years, like years and years and years I’ve tried to go to the gym, eat healthy, lose weight, and it’s never happened. And as a result, you know, the confidence drops, the self esteem is practically non existent. And just before COVID I got accepted through the public system to have a gastric slate, which was supposed to help with the weight loss side of things, which in turn would have been polycystic, which in turn might control the anxiety. You know, all part of the circle yeah. And I unfortunately had a anaphylactic reaction on the table, which, so it was called off. Then went through testing to find out what I was allergic to. All of that kind of stuff.

00:21:54

Natalie: Hey, can we just go back to that thing? You just were, like, casually thrown out there, like. Like, for someone who has anxiety to then be like, your worst probably thing actually coming to fruition. Like, can we just go back there for a minute? Please?

00:22:10

Tracey: Stop. So I got. I woke up in recovery, and the anesthetist was standing over me, and he said to me, his words were, I’m so glad to see you alive. Cue trauma response. I obviously was asleep. I don’t know anything. But reading the aftermath of what happened and how long they worked on me, I know that I’m very lucky to be alive again. Referred to some counseling through the hospital just to rule out any post traumatic stress, and was all fine. Got the testing. So all good. Like, everything was all good. Of course, every time anyone I. No, up until recently, anyone I knew that was having surgery, I would be like, heart rate high all day. Physical body response. Like, not a good place.

00:23:07

Natalie: Yeah. Yeah.

00:23:10

Tracey: Got told what it, like, did the testing, got told what I was allergic to. Then we went into Covid. All the lockdowns happened. The dates for surgery got pushed out and pushed out, and I got. I met with a high risk anesthetist, and they said to me that there was a small bit significant risk that there would be a cross reaction between the two drugs and that I could die if I tried again, but that. That approved me to go forward and have the surgery anyway. Is it okay? And I was waiting for an appointment to see a surgeon, and I just got a surgery date and a booking sheet from Middlemore Hospital. The surgery was supposed to be at the Circuit Clinic, so they moved it to the middle hospital. And then I also got a booking sheet for the icu. So I got straight on the phone to Counties Medical and the surgery center and was like, what’s going on? I haven’t even seen the surgeon yet. I can’t ask any questions. And they were like, oh, because of COVID you won’t meet your surgeon until the day of your surgery? And I was like, no, not doing it. Like, I cannot put myself in a situation and at the risk of leaving my son without a mother. Not doing it. So I met with my fertility doctor, spoke to her about the risk because we were doing all of this to get myself as healthy as I could so that we could try again. And she was very Supportive of us not doing, of me not doing the surgery and worked with me to try and lose weight. Of course it didn’t work that way and I ended up. Every cycle that we tried to get pregnant on, I would gain another 10 kilos. It was just this really vicious cycle. Self esteem kept diving every time. Confidence was non existent.

00:24:51

Natalie: I’ll just add though, in between all of this listeners, Tracy is still behind the scenes but and out the front of things building a really successful business. So like I just want to add that in on top of all that. So yeah, okay. Karen. Yes.

00:25:05

Tracey: Yeah. And I was, I was still, I was still working, so I was doing, working on the business, but I was still working in healthcare as an administration manager during COVID as well. So I had all of these high stress things happening. I was just, I’m not doing this. Not, not at all. And fast forward to this year. We. I got referred from the fertility clinic back to my endocrinologist because they were like, you’re not doing any more treatment. You need to go back to see your endocrinologist and just make sure that your polycystic is under control and that you don’t need any more harm. The nurse there, amazing nurse, when I got to the appointment, suggested I speak to someone at the McMurray center who does a different type of surgery. So all of a sudden surgery was an option again and so booked in all the emotions of getting booked into this place and only for them to turn around and say, you’re not a good candidate, you’re too high risk, go back to your original surgeon. And of course I wasn’t sure how to do that because I was through the public system originally and I like, I can’t go back on the public system now. Like I ruined that chance by pulling out when they gave me the surgery day. And that was okay. So I researched who did the. When you go through the public system, you do a seminar. I really liked the surgeon that ran that seminar. So I tried to see if he was available and he was. I got an appointment within four weeks and he spent an hour with me. And I don’t know if that’s normal. That could be normal in the private sector, I don’t know. But he spent an hour with me and I have never felt more valued and cared for and respected in the healthcare setting. Every question that I had was answered, even if it was silly.

00:26:56

Natalie: Had you? Not before in the healthcare system felt like that.

00:27:00

Tracey: No, not, not in that, not in that process. I do when I go to My fertility, like the ologist and all the fertility doctors are amazing. But through that bariatric surgery journey through the public system, not at all. You just, you just a number, they just put you through each phase. Everything’s done in a group until the day of surgery. Basically you go to a seminar with the surgeon, then to the dietitian and then you go to a nurse and they’d weigh you and it’s just done, it’s just, you’re just a number. But this, yeah, this surgeon, he was amazing and he approved the surgery on the day. And I remember him saying to me, let’s get you booked in at the earliest possible date so that you don’t overthink this.

00:27:45

Natalie: And yeah, I remember you messaging me.

00:27:49

Tracey: And so I got a date exactly four weeks after. So there was no time to think about it. There was no time like, so I met with him, it was like he knew you. Yeah, it was honestly the next day. So I had that meeting on a Tuesday, the Wednesday. I was flying to Christchurch to do a massive conference with one of my clients and I had to do a psychologist appointment to be able to go through to the next. And so I’m sitting in the corner of the conference center while everyone’s setting up their stands with my earbuds and, like, having the most intimate conversation with the psychologist. And I remember all the stuff that we were talking about. Like I was, I was in tears and I’m sitting here like no one look at me. But it was so. I felt like I was in control of the situation. I wasn’t doing anything that I didn’t want to do. They answered every question that I possibly had, like, and just with so much respect, it was amazing. And then I got back from, I got back from Christchurch, I went straight into the pre op diet, met with a dietitian, found out, like, what life will be like after surgery. And then I had to have the phone call when I had to give the consent and I was so, like, that was the day that I was dreading the most, like actually giving consent to maybe die on the table. Like, that’s what was going through my head. And we went through everything again, asked every question, made sure I felt safe. And then the anesthetist rang me that afternoon and I wasn’t expecting to hear from the anesthetist until the day before surgery. So we’re a week out from surgery by this stage and he rings me with again, so much care and 45 minutes he was on the phone with me and he did not need to be on the phone with me that long. But he made sure that I felt safe that he wasn’t going to do this if he didn’t, he wasn’t confident that it was safe for me to do so. I went into surgery day pretty relaxed, to be honest.

00:29:52

Natalie: Shouldn’t have been far cry from what it was. Right. And what you had experienced. Amazing.

00:29:58

Tracey: Yeah. And I didn’t, like, I was definitely. I was nervous, but I didn’t. I did redo my will. Like I did. I was nervous enough to redo my will, but I wasn’t. I didn’t go into it going, I’m going to die. Whereas 12 months, two years ago, that was my thought process. And the nursing staff at hospital again, I had alerts like big red wristbands on, like, oh my God. Everything was everything. They couldn’t have been more prepared, I guess. And so I had the surgery and woke up and apparently burst into tears and gave the recovery nurse a massive hug and kept repeating that I was alive. So obviously I was subconsciously concerned.

00:30:46

Natalie: Yeah. Yeah. I remember messaging your mum going, tell me how. Tell me when she’s out. Then she was like, oh, it’s been pushed to this afternoon. I was like, oh my God.

00:30:55

Tracey: Yeah.

00:30:56

Natalie: Can’t even imagine what it was like for you, you know, and your, and your husband and, you know.

00:31:00

Tracey: Yeah, it wasn’t too bad. Like I, for me anyway, like I was in by. I had to be there at 10 and I was in theater by midday.

00:31:09

Natalie: Yeah.

00:31:10

Tracey: But I took a long time to go through surgery and then into recovery. So my husband was sitting there waiting a long time and he was a little bit. And say, but, you know, the, they communicated really well with him and let him know what was going on. So, you know, and they, they really genuinely made me feel really safe. And even in the days after, like the surgeon was here, the anesthetist was there when they said they would be. You know when you sometimes go into the hospital in the public system and they’re like, we’ll come and see you in the morning and then they don’t turn up until the afternoon. It wasn’t like that, I’ll be there at 6:30. Like they’re there at 6:30 on the dot. Like it was, it was just, it was just such a totally different experience to the, to the public system. But yes, I had the surgery recovery. I’m only, I’m only seven and a half weeks post surgery, so it’s still very new.

00:32:02

Natalie: The smile on your face. If you could all see the smile on her face right now.

00:32:05

Tracey: Yeah. But it. Whilst it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, it has also been the most rewarding thing that I’ve ever done.

00:32:14

Natalie: Why is that?

00:32:16

Tracey: It has given me a new. A new lease on life, I guess. Like, and it. It wasn’t about, for me doing the surgery. It wasn’t about losing weight. It was about being healthy. It was about not being in burnout. It was about doing things that will nourish my body so that I can have my. The best life. About the number on the scale. And I was at the gym this morning and I. We realized that I’d hit 25 kilos lost. And so we’re doing an exercise and I’m like, this. I can’t do this. This is so heavy. She’s like, you were carrying that exact weight around for the last however many years. Like, you can do this. Oh, wow. And holding it, like, physically holding in my hands the amount of weight that I was carrying around, like, it was. I can’t. I can’t even explain that. And I know lots of people lose weight and they’ll all be feeling the same sort of things, but to actually go through that and experience, like, it. Yeah, for me, it was kind of really eye opening. Like, so much has changed in such a small, small chunk of time. But my most favorite thing that has happened is that I was only supposed to take two weeks off work, but my brain, week three, my brain didn’t work. There’s no other way to explain it. I couldn’t string my thought process together. I was so tired. Whilst physically I was feeling okay, I was just exhausted. So I ended up taking three weeks off. And then when I came back in week four, I didn’t take anything back. The team had just run so smoothly. Probably better than when I looked after the team, to be honest.

00:34:00

Natalie: Oh, we’ve all heard it here first, people. The controller’s now gone. Oh. When I’ve stepped away, the team works better. Yeah.

00:34:07

Tracey: And it was just. It was so cool. Like, it was just, I can come back and I can do something different. Like, I can. I can still support my team, but I can then go and do something different, which I had been toying with the idea of doing for ages. And now I feel at peace that I can do that without, like, your. A team’s not going to suffer because I’m not focused on it, if that makes sense.

00:34:34

Natalie: Yeah. And it’s been interesting for someone who’s coached you for a long time now and has known you even longer. Like, you’ve always had an outward confidence. And I’m like, shit, man, what are you going to be capable of after this when you’re already capable of these extraordinary things? I’m like you. Everyone needs to strap on. That doesn’t sound right. Strap in.

00:34:55

Tracey: Yeah, I remember our, the first coaching session that we had after when I came back.

00:35:01

Natalie: Yeah.

00:35:02

Tracey: And you asked me how I was feeling and I said that I was scared. I was scared at the pace that I’m going to move because I have energy, I have found confidence that I haven’t had in a really long time. Probably since like my late teens, early 20s.

00:35:16

Natalie: Yeah.

00:35:17

Tracey: Like, it’s a lot of adult life that I’ve lived in a shadow because I haven’t had that internal confidence. And for some reason, whether it’s the way that I look or the, the way that clothes feel on me or, or I. I don’t know. We are trying to unpack that with my psychologist right now. Whatever it is, I have found this confidence that wasn’t there before. And the energy that I have, it is, it is a little bit terrifying, the pace that I want to move at and I’m intentionally trying to slow myself down, but there’s only so much of that that I can do without getting frustrated. So it’s, it’s quite a fine balance.

00:35:57

Natalie: I think what’s really cool, like when you coach someone, as a, as a coach, I don’t have your, your baggage in your. We all have issues. Right. When I say your issues, it doesn’t mean anything like that. So we can only see your full potential. Like, I get to see all sides of you and your full potential. And I think what I’ve really seen is you really in that session afterwards of going, yeah, I feel like you’re ready to become the person who I’ve always known you can be, or step into arenas where I’m like, we’re ready for you. Like, now that you’re ready, let’s go. So I feel like, yeah, your, your full potential, you haven’t quite realized yet. And that’s super exciting, but you’re starting to feel that. And I think, you know, for people who are listening now in terms of like the anxieties, crippling them, their self esteem, their confidence, and they’re running a business. Like what, what have you really leaned on to help you navigate things in your business?

00:37:04

Tracey: A really solid support network is crucial.

00:37:06

Natalie: Yeah.

00:37:07

Tracey: Whether that’s a business coach or a business bestie, it doesn’t really matter, but a really solid support network. I’m really lucky that I have that and I found that network really early on in my business journey. Knowing your own tools, like use your tool belt, we’ve all got them. Use it and just trust, like trust the process. The, the anxiety piece is so small in the scheme of it. Yes, it feels like it’s the biggest weight in the world, but when you’re in that moment, but in the scheme of the bigger picture is so small and it is such a powerful tool to reshape leading a business with heart like, or giving it, giving it a purpose like it is, like it’s so powerful and if they can, if we can lean into that, like people are attracted to that authenticity. Right. That connection is so key and I feel like when you’re a naturally anxious person like myself, that connection piece is so strong and that’s going to make a really, really successful business. If you can, if you can play that card really well, it makes a really successful business.

00:38:16

Natalie: You can, I like imagine it can be like quite a mind struggle because when you’re like a high achiever and you want to come across polish all the time and you plan stuff and as we know, and I’m sure you’d agree, business doesn’t unfold like that. So it’s almost like letting that go because you can be as planned as you want and have, you know, and you and I will often laugh like you’ll have contingency A to Z and then you’ll be like, oh, I didn’t.

00:38:38

Tracey: Z A. Yeah, 100%. And I think once you’ve accepted that it’s not going to be perfect, it. Yeah. And that’s the thing. Like that control pace. When generally speaking, when I am generalizing here, but with me, with my anxiety, when I feel in control, the anxiety goes down. But there is so much that you can’t control and that’s okay as well. But understanding and learning that you know your business isn’t going to be perfect. There’s going to be spelling mistakes that go up in the post or a newsletter that goes out or a client isn’t going to sign when you think that they’re going to sign and they might sign two weeks later and it throws out your whole timeline like it is, is those things are going to happen. But that doesn’t mean that you’re not successful and that doesn’t mean that your anxiety is one. It’s just the way that it goes. And once you can accept that, that you’re not in control of a lot of things in business that you control, like 5%. Once you can accept that, it becomes a whole lot easier.

00:39:44

Natalie: So for someone listening now, who’s in the thick of it, what’s one piece of real talk you want them to hear from you? What do you want them to hear out of your own stories today?

00:39:58

Tracey: I think just keep going. Like, genuinely just keep going. It’s. It. Some days it does feel like that you should just stop and go back to working for someone else. It’ll be easier. But there’s also power in trusting the process and carrying on because you don’t know where you’re going to end up. You know, it could be the best thing. Like the. Imagine having that business that you’ve kept going and it’s finally in a place where you can not work on a Monday because Mondays are the days that you don’t feel like working, you know, or you might want to work, start later. So you can go and set yourself up for the week and go to the gym or do all the things that make you feel good. You can have that if you keep going that. Yeah. Like, the amount of times that people have told me, oh, I’d be, you know, so hard, it’d be easier if we just got went and worked. Gone back to my old job. I’m thinking about going back to my old job. I’m applying for jobs and I’m like, don’t do that. Keep going. It’ll be okay. And then 12 months down the track, and I’m like, oh, thank you for saying that. Yeah, it did work out.

00:41:03

Natalie: Oh, I love that. I love that. That hopefulness that you bring. So there’s that great. A wonderful charity called Voices of Hope, and there’s a podcast around it. And, you know, hope is real. And that is that whole piece, isn’t it? Like, don’t give up. Trust in the process. Be hopeful. And I think, you know, also, like, because we talk about a lot, but social media highlight reels, like, no one has this either. There’s always something that someone’s going, you know, dealing with. Like, even when you see a. What you think is a confident person sometimes got to go. I wonder what it took them to get there. What have they had to jump through? What have they had to process to get there.

00:41:45

Tracey: Yeah. And. And if they are feeling like that, they should probably read your chapter about pedestaling people. Because as soon as you take people off that pedestal and look back and go, oh, actually, they’re exactly the same as me.

00:41:57

Natalie: Yeah.

00:41:57

Tracey: You know, they’re on the same level that it makes things so much easier.

00:42:02

Natalie: It’s just humanizing people. Hey. Like that acceptance of all parts of ourselves. Like, I, you know, I’ve got an. I have had. Oh, she’s had some beautiful healing right there. I had an angry Nat side, and I didn’t like that side of me. But actually, when I really did it in a healthy way, that’s where a lot of that passion and drive comes from. And not to be scared of those things. So it’s just that humanization, isn’t it?

00:42:28

Tracey: Yeah, absolutely.

00:42:30

Natalie: Well, we could chat all day. I think your story is so inspiring, and I just. I just really love that you, you know, I know what. What’s coming up for you and where you want to bring a lot of hope for other business owners around. You know how to grow their business, even despite. Even though you. You’re anxious, you know, you can build something amazing. And because you’ve done it. And I think. I love that. And thank you for coming on and sharing your story.

00:42:55

Tracey: Thanks for having me.

00:42:57

Natalie: There were some parts where I was like, yeah, damn, I forgot that part. Yeah. You’re amazing. Thank you so much. Lovely. Okay, see you later.